Divorce Took More Than Your Marriage: John Spencer Ellis on the Physical Toll and the Way Back
Nobody hands a man a list of what to expect physically when a marriage ends. So he does not connect the dots. The waistband that got tighter. The 3 a.m. wake-ups. The nightcap that became three drinks. The temper he does not recognize. The workouts that stopped without a decision ever being made. He files it all under "I am not coping well." The more accurate reading: he is experiencing a hormonal and behavioral cascade that follows a documented sequence — and reverses in a documented order. A stress response with nowhere to land Cortisol evolved for threats that conclude. Danger arrives, cortisol surges, danger passes, the system stands down. Divorce offers no conclusion. Eighteen to twenty-four months of legal process, financial untangling, custody logistics and rebuilding a sense of self. The stand-down signal never comes. What sustained cortisol produces: Fat redistributing toward the abdomen Testosterone output falling Blood pressure climbing Glucose handling de...